


sex and question marks

by end_thistragedy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Fluff, M/M, cops!au, mentions of guns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 07:09:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4469990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/end_thistragedy/pseuds/end_thistragedy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Niall feels like his throat is in his stomach when he enters the room. From there, it's pretty much a blurred rush of bird tattooed hands clasped with pale hands, and awkwardly exchanged hello's and the Captain saying, grandly, "Horan--meet your new partner."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Hey. I'm Malik. Zayn."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Niall feels like he actually swallows his throat. "What?" He says, and honestly what?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>There's an awkward pause in the room--the sounds of the station bleeding in through the closed door. Someone clears their throat.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"You okay?" Malik--Zayn asks.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Hi." Niall answers belatedly, making Zayn quirk an eyebrow. "Niall. That's my name. Um--I'm Niall." </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	sex and question marks

**Author's Note:**

> This was considerably more dialogue than i've ever done and it felt so strange? P.S. This exists in a universe in the U.S. where you can look at a cop and not think _what a pos_

Liam breaks the news to Niall over fast food burgers.

They're in their squad car with the radio softly playing solid oldies and the AC blasting cold air in their faces to ward off the scorching summer heat of mid-July. Niall feels like he's sticking to his seat, the thick fabric of his uniform doing absolutely nothing to stifle the heat. He's going to suggest a new style for summer, write a petition and everything and get the little old ladies who go for walks together in the early morning and the old wrinkly men who sit outside Niall's building playing checkers or chess like it's 1940 and people still do that. Might even get the soccer moms on their way to noonday yoga. They've always cooed over Niall's eyes and the way he blushes afterwards as he horribly fails to flirt.

Liam is picking off the excessive onions he'd specifically asked to be left off when he clears his throat and says, "We should talk, Niall."

Niall nods his head, his mouth full, too polite to speak that way. Anytime Liam says they need to talk, he'll dive into a story about one of his sisters, his parents, or his turtles who've been dead for at least two years now (may they rest in peace), or about Harry, Harry's hair, Harry's new ridiculous tattoo that Liam hates but really actually loves, or their wacky premarital adventures. Alarm bells aren't particularly rushing to go off.

"I...okay." He says, carefully. Another onion lands on his wrapper with an unpleasant splat, drowned in mayo. Niall would comment on the waste of food, but he restrains himself. He just watched a documentary on waste and he's been feeling awfully environmental justice-y. "I'm good at my job." Liam is saying.

Niall raises an eyebrow and thinks _here we go_. "Okay? I've never doubted that--"

"No." Liam sighs, looking unnervingly troubled. "Look, Niall--you know that I think of you as a brother and I promise that I would never agree to something like this if I didn't come to you first and that's what I'm doing now. I just want you to know that nothing is set in stone yet, I actually have until Friday to decide and--"

"Liam!" Niall cuts in, smart enough to recognize an impending tangent, "What the hell are you on about?"

"I've been offered a job." says Liam, followed by an audible swallow, "As a detective."

"Whoa." responds Niall, a bit floored. He stops eating, turning his body to face his best friend. "Liam."

"You're upset." Liam says, shaking his head. His grip is tightening on his burger if the way the ketchup drips and the bun slides slightly to the left is anything to go by. "I won't take it. I'll tell them--"

"What?" Niall punches Liam in the arm, grinning. "No way! Take the goddamn job. Detective Payne!"

Liam honestly pouts. "But what about you?"

Niall is a little dumbfounded. "What--who gives a shit about me? This is huge! Have you told Harry?"

"Not yet. I was waiting until I talked to you." Liam says, and he frowns, contemplative. "He might cry."

"He will cry." corrects Niall, because he's seen Harry shed tears at Cheerios commercials. "I can't believe it. Holy shit."

"It means we can't do things like this anymore. I'll barely see you." Liam says, sounding dreadful, "We'll have new partners. Different schedules. Different lives."

"Good! We're too co-dependent anyway."

"Niall, stop it. Be serious."

"I am being serious! I'm happy for you, all right? Detective!"

Liam exhales like he'd actually been worried that Niall wouldn't be okay with him getting what he rightfully deserved. It's almost insulting. "Thank you."

"Right. I'm going to hug you now."

"I figured."

Niall leans over and wraps his arms awkwardly around Liam's shoulders and squeezes hard enough for Liam to shout, "Quit it!" and push him back into his own seat.

"You're taking this job and you're going to love it, Payno. Trust me."

Liam groans. "No way. I have learned to never trust you. Ever."

"I am very trustworthy!"

"No. You absolutely are not." Liam turns the radio up, and fiddles with the air conditioning. Never able to sit still for too long. "Do you remember what happened when I asked you to house sit for me?"

Niall makes a face and crumbles up his wrapper before tossing it at Liam's head. "I did a fucking amazing job, that's what happened."

"Yeah, after you almost burned down the place. And broke my vase."

"You should've never owned a decorative vase." Niall argues, "Besides, I bought you flowers and a new vase."

"Which you immediately dropped on the stairs leading to our apartment . But thank you, I do remember that and appreciate the sentiment."

"How many times do I have to apologize before you finally get over it?"

"Dunno. Until the wound heals."

"Honestly, Payno. It was over two years ago. Time heals all wounds and all that." Liam snorts, and Niall snaps his fingers, getting an idea, "Hey! Let me take you and Harry out for drinks tonight. Make up for that vase!"

"Not to celebrate?"

"Course! That'd work too."

"Will you actually be paying or will you pretend to forget your wallet again? Which, might I add, is another example of you being untrustworthy."

"I do forget my wallet!"

Liam nods his head, "Sure you do."

"I don't need to prove myself to you. Come on, let's go. I'm itchin' to tackle a big guy to the ground."

"Niall. It's a Tuesday. You're not gonna tackle a big guy. The best we're gonna get is a homeless man peeing in a fountain."

\---

Harry does in fact cry and Liam gets it all on video and sends it to Niall who manages to watch it five times before and while they're having drinks before Harry hops on his back to wrestle the phone out of his hands, successfully getting them kicked out of the bar.

\---

Naturally, they have a party to celebrate. Harry calls everyone they know and personally bakes a million pizzas and buys a million beers and Liam honest-to-God blushes the entire night. Niall follows him outside when he sees him try to discreetly escape to the balcony.

"Drinking alone at your own party?"

Liam doesn't flinch, just scoots over on the porch swing that takes up a majority of the space (the other half for Harry's poor excuse of a garden), and Niall occupies the free space, sitting closer than he needs to, being unintentionally comforting as usual. Personal space has always been a bit nonexistent between the three of them.

"My back and shoulders are bruised from so many congratulatory slaps." Liam says, massaging his own shoulders, "Hugs don't exist anymore? Handshakes? High fives?"

"I think those are reserved for things that are surprises." Niall says, being honest. "And people who don't achieve great things on a regular basis."

Liam sounds sad, but also really drunk when he asks, "You think people hate me?"

"Hell no. Not even close. They just might be a little tired of telling Liam Payne congratulations." Niall admits. He'd overheard two of Harry's friends in the kitchen joking about how many times they've been invited to parties specifically intended for Harry to brag about him and to inflate Liam's ego. Niall hadn't realized this was the fifth Liam-centric party in just one year. Their engagement party totally counts. "Everything's been so easy for you, you know? I mean--look at your life, Payno. Most of us are still stuck in the same place. Let's be honest: No one wants to throw a party for someone who finally learned how to do their own laundry."

"You're generalizing, right?" Liam asks, " Because I'm not sure you know how to do the laundry."

"Well go on and tell the world, Liam. Why'd you have to bring that up? Doesn't mean you're better than me."

"Never said I was." Liam says, then, with a truly pathetic look on his face that makes Niall regret opening his mouth, "Wait. Is--is that what people think? That I think that I'm above them?"

"Of course not, Liam." Niall says, avoiding that discussion. He'd honestly be whining about it for hours and lock himself in the bathroom and type continuous, embarrassing and long Facebook statuses about being a nice guy who's just misunderstood. Niall can't let that happen. Not ever again. So he changes the subject. "So when do you start?"

Liam doesn't think anything of the topic shift. "Next Monday morning." He breathes out like he's already exhausted just thinking about it and lets his head fall back against the back of the swing. "Bright and early."

"Nervous?"

"Completely."

"Don't worry," Niall nudges his arm in what he thinks is a comforting manner. "You're Liam goddamn Payne. You're basically good at everything."

"Basically?"

"You're shit at spelling. Do you actually read your own texts before you send them?"

"Hey, hey. I never said I was a scholar."

"You don't have to be a scholar to know basic vocabulary." Niall laughs, raucous and loud. "That's okay. We can't all be blessed with good wits and good looks like myself. Just wouldn't be fair."

"Wow."

"What? I'm just speaking truths, Liam. It's both a blessing and a curse. "

"I'm going back inside."

\---

A week later, on that fateful Monday morning, Niall sends Liam a text that says _good luck detective you're gonna be great !_ and drives to work in his beat up, old car, not looking forward to meeting his new partner or the look on everyone's faces when they see him. They're going to pity him, he can feel it. No one's had to get a new partner in at least a year. He imagines the 'Days Without Incident' they've dubbed for the occasion solemnly being set back to zero. Niall knew one day the division would break its record, but he'd never thought he'd be the one left in the aftermath.

Liam's last few days on the job went by too quickly and without a bang. On his final day, Niall had sworn-- while putting a snobby little brat of a rich white kid who'd try to sell to the wrong person--Liam had gotten a little weepy. He was about 100% positive when Liam got behind the wheel and drive them back to the station, doing nothing to hide the way he's wiped a hand down his face. Niall had actually had to escort him away when he asked the kid if he could take a selfie with him because he was his last arrest as a cop and he wanted to remember it forever.

The weeping got worse when Niall--under orders--led Liam to the conference room where those who weren't on duty and the Captain were waiting to surprise him with a going away party.

Niall changes quickly as to avoid speaking to anyone at all and goes to his desk, avoiding a glance over the cubicle at what was previously Liam's. His things were gone, but they hadn't yet been replaced. That was comforting. What if they haven't even found a replacement? What if the Captain lets him ride solo for awhile? At least those were his beliefs until Briggs, a cop from vice, tells him he's wanted by the Captain.

Niall feels like his throat is in his stomach when he enters the room. From there, it's pretty much a blurred rush of bird tattooed hands clasped with pale hands, and awkwardly exchanged hello's and the Captain saying, grandly, "Horan--meet your new partner."

"Hey. I'm Malik. Zayn."

Niall feels like he actually swallows his throat. "What?" He says, and honestly what?

There's an awkward pause in the room--the sounds of the station bleeding in through the closed door. Someone clears their throat.

"You okay?" Malik-- _Zayn_ asks.

"Hi." Niall answers belatedly, making Zayn quirk an eyebrow. "Niall. That's my name. Um--I'm Niall."

"Hi Niall." Zayn laughs, and takes his hand away, which Niall has absolutely no memory of ever shaking. "It's nice to meet you. I’m sorry you've got to get used to a new partner. I don’t think I can fill his shoes properly, but I promise I can try."

\---

Zayn Malik transferred from their partnering division by request and he's been waiting for an opportunity for months. Niall learns this via police profile on the computer after he completely tunes out during the official meeting because of one confusingly upsetting quality.

"He's hard to look at."

"What?" Liam asks over the phone.

Niall is sitting on his couch with a beer in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other, his phone being held up by his cheek. He hates talking on the phone, especially to Liam because it's obvious that he's distracted, the sound of other less important things being done carrying through the phone.

"It's not like you were bad to look at. You're attractive, I guess--"

"Thank you?"

"He's just unnervingly attractive? Shit. I don't know." The constant clanging and rustling in the background is almost like a soundtrack to Niall now.

"Are you--are you, like, having a crisis...should I get Harry?"

"No, Liam. I don't need your wannabe psychiatrist boyfriend. Jesus. Just--" He stops, leaving his pizza balanced on his knee to rub at the side of his nose. "We've never talked about this before."

"That's because you have always pointedly avoided it."

"I never! I don't think it's ever come up." Niall says, "Honestly, Li, when have I ever had the time to even think about finding another human being attractive?"

"I don't think it's about having time. You're just a lazy, lazy boy. You care more about sleeping, eating, and working than having sex. How do you even do it? Have you ever kissed a human being?"

"Yes!" Niall says, very offended. "I have kissed plenty of human beings."

"Have you ever dated one of them? Had sex with them? Held their hand?"

"I've been in relationships before. And fuck you, I'm not a virgin."

"Are you sure?"

"I think I'd know if I've stuck it in a person or not."

"But would you?" Niall sighs heavily, pointedly, and Liam says, "Okay. I believe you, I guess. Now here comes the big question: Did you stick it in a girl or a boy?"

"Don't say stick it in, Liam. Never again. You're pure."

"I'm engaged to Harry Styles and you think I'm pure." Liam snorts.

"Please spare me the details." Niall says, then, "I'm not exactly exclusive to one gender."

"Okay. Then I don't really see why you're freaking out over being attracted to an attractive male person. Am I missing something? What are we talking about?"

"I don't know."

"Well, Niall, maybe it's not that you're afraid of being attracted to him. Maybe you're just afraid of what you're going to do with being attracted to him."

"He's my partner." Niall whines.

"That means literally nothing."

"I want to keep business separate from my personal life!"

"That would sound sincere if you weren't currently talking about boning your new partner to your old partner. I'm hanging up. This conversation is complete nonsense and I have a life to get back to."

"Your boring premarital life can wait."

"No, it really can't. I need to have dinner ready by seven."

Niall groans. "I didn't understand any of that because it was so boring. Goodbye. I will never call you again."

"You say that every time we talk. All I hear is 'Goodbye, I love you. You're the greatest friend ever.'"

"I mean it, Liam. I will never call you again."

"Love you too, Nialler."

\---

Their first ride together is awkward and uncomfortable and everything Niall hates.

He suggests that Zayn drives non-vocally, tossing the keys over the top of the car only to watch Zayn fumble drastically, and, in an attempt to retrieve them, bang his head against the side of the car.

Niall stares, unblinking, before asking, "All right?" to which Zayn replies with a mumble a notch below a mumble, "Yeah, thanks." and gets into the car.

Niall wants to laugh but also ask him where it hurts so he can kiss it better.

Their first job as a partnership is a streaking man that makes Zayn laugh and Niall swallow and mentally mark down the exact time and place where that momentous event occurred, and names it "Zayn's first smile," like he's crafting a baby book.

Zayn is too busy laughing while Niall chases the man down and tackles him from behind, pinning him into the ground with his face smothered into the grass. "You seem like a smart man. Do I even need to tell you why you're under arrest?"

"Brilliant." Zayn can't stop laughing, and Niall's only just realized that there were passersby applauding him, as well as Zayn. "What a show."

And Niall plays it up and bows for the crowd before shoving the guy into the back of the car.

\--

Their next ride is considerably less entertaining and ends up with them trying to calm a child down whose parents have gotten into a rather violent argument that ended up with the babysitter calling the cops and two dead bodies.

Niall tries to speak to her, but she just won't stop crying. At least not until Zayn steps in, sitting crossed legged in front of her, and says, "Hey, hey. You're gonna be all right. Everything's gonna be fine, yeah? What's your name?"

Niall thinks she says, "Ella," through her tears.

Zayn smiles, "Hi Ella that is a lovely name.  it's very nice to meet you. I'm Zayn. That's my partner, Niall."

Niall waves tentatively when she looks up at him.

"Me and Niall, and the other men dressed like this are here to make sure your mom and dad are ok. And make sure you and your brother are okay, too." Zayn explains, then, glancing over his shoulder, he says, "Want to do me a favor? A really, big, huge, ginormous one?"

Her sobs have died down to a sniffle as she looks at him, curiously, before sitting down on her knees.

Zayn motions for Niall to come closer, and he does, sitting down opposite of them. "Now, Ella, this is very important. Only Niall knows about this. And now you."

She runs a hand under her nose, sniffling. "Is it a secret?" She asks, voice still wavering.

Zayn nods his head, "You see, I've got this bracelet, right? And it's far too small for my wrist. It's always hard to get it on and off. And then it leaves lines in my skin and that's just no good, is it? I mean I could just not wear it, yeah. But the problem is: it's a very special bracelet. You know why?"

Ella shakes her head.

"Well," Zayn begins, "It's special because it's got powers."

"Powers? Like magic?"

"Better than magic." Zayn says, "It makes anyone who wears it brave and strong. I've had it since I was about your age. I wore it everyday and it helped me when I was scared, when I was sad and crying and even when I was angry. It made me feel ok. But now--" Zayn tugs the bracelet off his wrist, cupping it in his palm. "Now I'm all grown up and I don't need it anymore. I've got a job where I protect people when they're feeling scared and sad and angry. This bracelet helped me get here. So. I was wondering if you'd take it off my hands for me."

Ella looks up at him, eyes wide. "Really?"

"Really." Zayn responds. "What do you say? Will you promise to wear it? For me?"

Ella nods her head fervently, holding her hand out, "Yes, please, Mr. Zayn. I promise."

Zayn sets the bracelet on her outstretched hand and smiles. "Thank you very much. I know you'll take good care of it."

Ella slides the bracelet on her wrist and holds it out to Niall. "Do you have one, too?" She asks.

Niall shakes his head, a little dumbfounded at Zayn, but able to form a proper response. "Course not. It can only be worn by those who deserve it."

"Is that me?" She asks, clearly not understanding what deserve means.

"Yes, that's you."

"Thank you. I'll wear it forever."

"Now--you see the woman over there? By the door? She's going to take you to a safe place. You and your brother."

"Are you guys coming, too?"

"No, we've got to stay here. But you'll be all right, won't she Niall?"

"Yes, she will be." Niall says, and smiles at her warmly, giving her a thumbs up as Briggs comes to take her away.

They're standing there watching until she's out the door, and when she's no longer able to see their faces, Zayn visibly relaxes with a strained exhale.

"What do you think will happen to them?" Niall asks.

Zayn shrugs like it's no big deal, like it doesn't affect him. But Niall knows that's not true. "They'll probably get split up. Her brother will get adopted. She'll go into foster care. It's always the same."

"Jesus." Niall says, then, "Was that bracelet really yours as a kid?"

"Nah." Zayn gets to his feet, shakily, "I got it at a carnival."

\---

They're on their way to a call about loud music when Zayn eases the car over to the side of the road. Niall instinctively puts his hand on his gun in the off chance that Zayn may be planning to murder him.

"Relax." Zayn says, unbuckling his seat belt and turning in the seat until he's facing Niall completely. He looks like he's preparing to gossip about the latest in the office.

Niall takes in their surroundings, again by instinct. At least they're in a populated area. There's a car driving by every three to five seconds. Up ahead there's a densely inhabited playground, and Zayn doesn't seem the type to empty a clip into a person within earshot of children. Niall is still wary. "What's happening right now..."

"Take your hand off your gun. I'm not going to kill you."

"That is exactly what a murderer would say." Niall mumbles, but Zayn hears him very clearly.

"Okay, yeah, but can you trust me? I know that's obviously hard for you."

Niall's entire body tenses, "Excuse me?"

Zayn does this little barely noticeable frown and Niall wants to see it again, wants to make him upset or confused until that same cute little frown comes back. Oh god. "Can we talk?" It's nearly a demand. "Will you listen to me?"

For some reason, Niall decides to say, "I don't think you've given me much of a choice." And the responding look Zayn gives him is chilling. Niall is being an asshole. Why is he being such a dumb idiot asshole.

"I shouldn't even have to do this--" Zayn stops and sighs, heavily, like he's prepared for this. Like he's thought about this so much that he needs to rev himself up for it. Niall feels quite terrible. "Look--I know I'm not your old partner, but at some point, you're probably going to have to have a full conversation with me?"

"We're having a full conversation right now."

"That's because I've forced it on you. You have never initiated conversation once. We've been partners for months, Niall. I want to know things about you that I don't have to look up on your Facebook."

"You stalked my Facebook?"

"I looked at your Facebook."

"Jesus Christ. You're a fucking serial killer." He says, but he's smiling. Niall knows for sure that he looks damn hot in more than half of his Facebook pictures, even the tagged ones, so it's all good.

But the frown is back and Niall is torn between feeling awful about it and wanting  to pat himself on the back because that was his goal all along.

"I want to know who I'm riding in a car with everyday."

"Apparently you do." He aims at teasing, but he fails. Zayn still looks pitiful.

"I know who you choose to show the world through social media." Zayn says, like he's about to dive into a discourse on the merits and disadvantages of the internet.

"Zayn." Niall has to put a stop to this. Zayn might look cute all helpless and confused and determined but one can only handle so much. "I don't actually hate you, if that's what you think."

"How am I supposed to know that when you barely say anything to me during the day and rush to get away from me after wor--"

"Zayn, stop. Stop talking." Niall can't help but start to chuckle a little because Zayn has no idea. "I don't hate you? I kind of opposite hate you. And that's why I can't speak to you. Kind of don't know how." The playground is suddenly the most fascinating sight Niall has ever laid eyes on. So fascinating in fact that he won't dare look away, or even turn the slightest bit to the left for fear of catching another object into his view.

Zayn blinks. "You don't know how."

"Yep. Everytime I look at you, I freeze. You'd think that would go away by now, but it hasn't. It, uh. Really hasn't."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Okay." Zayn turns himself right again, and moves to restart the car.

Niall finally looks at him, turning his head a bit too fast. "No. Whoa. What? What does that mean?"

"It means okay." Zayn lifts his shoulders in a shrug. The beautiful bastard actually has the nerve to look smug. "That's all I needed to know."

Niall's hand grazes his gun. "Right. I'm still unconvinced that you're not going to kill me."

\---

"I think I told him I was attracted to him today." Niall stabs into the extravagant, or perhaps a better word for it is eccentric, salad that Harry had prepared and takes a cautious first bite. He and Liam have had to be unwilling victims along the way as Harry's aspiration to have his own cooking show has gained momentum after his ego was stroked all the way to a promotion to executive chef at Angelo's, a high end, constantly overbooked Italian restaurant smashed between a sports bar called Home Run! and an antique shop that's been around for over forty years that's changed its name so many times in the past that the family has just decided to name it Antique Shop. Harry has a part time at a cupcake shop where he bakes and decorates cupcakes and writes weekly puns for the chalkboard menu hung on the wall above the display of cupcakes.

Niall's had to endure salads with a variety of ingredients , but this one has banana mixed with grilled chicken and Caesar dressing. In comparison to the sausage, avocado, and shrimp salad from two weeks ago, it's tame. Still. He's a little worried. "No. I think I definitely told him that."

"Did you make out? This story is only interesting if you got nasty." Harry says from the kitchen counter.

"Don't listen to him." Liam says, from where he's sat across from Niall, thumbing the screen of his iPad. He has glasses on that probably aren't even prescription and he looks absolutely ridiculous. "But did you?"

"No?" Niall doesn't know what to think of their disappointed faces. Fucking married already. "But at least I know he's not going to murder me?"

"That's good?" Liam smiles a little warily. "Does he fancy you back?"

"I really don't know. And I don't want to know."

"You should really get this figured out before our Halloween party. Li, imagine if he actually brought a date for once." Harry says, dreamily.  Which, fuck him. Honestly. "Instead of getting pissed and passing out on our sofa."

"You definitely can count on that happening again." Niall says, realizing he's scraping the last of the lettuce out of the bowl. Huh. "Because I'm not making any kind of move."

"But you're still going to invite him to the party, though, right? As a friend. He'd probably appreciate it." Liam's always making sense. Well, sometimes. He has his moments--those sacred, coveted moments.

"And if you happen to get locked in the bathroom alone and forced to indulge in your steamy passions on the cold, tiled floors then that's out of our control." Harry says, and Niall can see him plotting. It's all in his eyebrows.

"For that specific reason, I don't think I'm going to show up to your party."

"That's out of the question." Liam says, nearly pouting, setting his device aside to fix Niall with his puppy dog look. "You're always at our parties."

"I know. And I wouldn't miss it for anything.  I was just trying to prove a point."

"Good. Because you're in charge of the music. I'm not letting Harry play his music again."

"Everyone loves Ray Lamontagne!"

"Not for two hours straight, Haz."

Harry sings a bit of something depressing and heartbreaking with a banjo and says, "Niall's just going to have Katy Perry on a loop. Like that's any better!"

"Actually, it is better. Niall's the DJ and that's it. You're making me burn the pasta. Shoo. Out of the kitchen." Liam says, tickling Harry's sides. "Niall, take Harry and distract him with your lack of a sex life."

\---

"What are you doing on Halloween?"

Zayn is obviously taken aback. He freezes mid sandwich bite, a tomato sliding off his sub and landing with a splat on the table. "What?"

"Halloween. What are you doing?"

"Oh. Nothing? I usually just stay in and watch horror movie marathons..."

"There's a party." Niall speaks over him, "It's at Liam's and his fiance, Harry's."

"Okay?"

"Okay. I'm inviting you." Niall says, and shrugs like this isn't the hardest thing he's ever had to do. He's surprised he's still breathing.

Zayn goes to take a sip of his drink but pauses, Niall wishes he would stop pausing half consumption. "Is this a pity invite?"

"No, why would I--" He stops talking because what's the point. "I want you to come, Zayn. You want to get to know me, watch me at a party with a couple to a hundred drinks in me."

Zayn smiles and Niall swears his eyes twinkle. "That sounds vaguely threatening."

"I was going for intriguing." Niall says, plowing through the numbing feel of the heat in his cheeks, "Oh. And you have to dress up or they won't let you through the door."

"Really?" Zayn looks mildly disgusted.

"Yes, really. I dress up as Fred from Scooby Doo every single year. You don't have to try hard if Liam sees you first. Wear a cape and call yourself Super Zayn. He'll think it's fucking incredible. It's Harry you need to worry about. He really likes the holidays. He takes them very seriously."

"Okay."

"No. I'm serious. If he doesn't like your costume he'll pout at you all night and mumble under his breath and never invite you to a party again."

"You're really not doing a good job of making this seem non threatening."

"The tip is: you just have to keep drinking."

\--

Harry drapes himself over Niall's back and says, "Is he coming? Where is he? I want to finally meet the man who's stole our sweet little Niall's heart."

"Get off me, you're ridiculous. Please don't say that in front of him." Niall is already two drinks in and his phone  is spewing out hit after hit and the night is young and he wants to throw up. "Is it hot in here?"

"Considering you're surrounded by body heat? I'd say so." Liam squeezes his shoulder, comforting. "Am I going to have to ask one of the eight people dressed as doctors in this house to come and help you through this?"

"Not necessary thank you." Niall assures him. "I feel like I should be a lot less sober for this."

"I think you're well on your way. But we're going to leave you, now, all right? We're supposed to be out there being good hosts and you're cramping our premarital style." Harry ruffles his perfectly crafted Fred hair and grabs Liam to drag him off and into the party, a chorus of cheers following wherever they go. Niall doesn't get it.

He downs the rest of his third drink and sets off on a hunt for his fourth and fifth and if he can fit a sixth into his pocket he's going for it. He's halfway there when someone grabs his arm and says, "Hey. Niall."

And no one else's voice sounds like that. No one else says his name like that. "Oh hey!" Niall cautiously looks around for signs of Liam and Harry before turning and facing a very...well. Well dressed Zayn. "Oh," he falters, and hopes his face isn't noticeably short circuiting like his brain is.

"Do you like it?" Zayn asks, innocently like he knows.

Niall takes him in. If Zayn's going to preen, then Niall's going to watch him. He's got on a very well tailored to his frame black suit and a skinny black tie and Niall honestly wants to hit him. He wants to kick him in the shin.

"What are you? What are you supposed to be?" He says instead, and shoves his free hand in the pocket of his blue pants for fear that he'll do something idiotic like actually reach out and touch Zayn.

"I don't really know? It's open to interpretation? Look good though, don't I?" Zayn leans forward and Niall closes his eyes instinctively, equally not knowing what the hell is happening and not prepared to see Zayn's face too closely. Niall tenses when Zayn just says into his ear, "I'm whatever you want me to be," in order to be heard over the loud and abrasive beat of Black Skinhead.

Niall opens his eyes and pushes Zayn out of his personal space. "Right. Okay. Well you look...uh. You just look." He says, intelligently.

Zayn smiles, bright eyes, and smooths a hand down the front of his suit. "Thanks, babe. You look as well? I like the blue pants and the ascot, of course I like the ascot." Niall doesn't think it's completely necessary for him to touch the ascot that he likes so much, but he does, and Niall nearly keels over.

He clears his throat, grabbing Zayn's wrist and placing his arm back at his own side. "Great. Do you want a drink?"

"I do." Zayn says.

"I'm going to get you one. Don't go anywhere. And avoid Batman and Robin. Do not talk to them."

"Liam and Harry?"

"Just don't even look at them. Okay?"

"All right. I'll just stand here and keep my eyes on the ground, then?"

"I know you're being sarcastic but I'm serious."

"Do you want me to go with you? Do you want me to hold your hand and squeeze tight so we don't lose each other in the crowd?"

"I'll be right back."

"Take your time."

"Like hell."

He comes back with three beers, one stuffed in his pants and he doesn't know what he expected. Actually, he takes that back. He definitely knew he'd find Zayn stuffed between Harry and Liam on the sofa, looking between them with an amused glint in his eyes. It's unnecessary and frankly repulsive.

Harry whoops when he sees him approach, "Niall! Hey, look who we ran into."

Niall hands one of the beers to Zayn, and Zayn looks apologetic. He was caught off guard, probably manhandled.

"How did you know who he was."

"Niall please." Harry says, which is not an answer at all.

"I don't want to know actually. Zayn, what have they told you. It's all lies."

"We've only just introduced ourselves." Liam says, probably lying. He's insanely good at it because he manages to always sound sincere.

"Really?" Niall is doubtful.

"Honestly."

"Cross our hearts." Harry mimes the words, but he's still suspicious and Niall really hates him. Hates them both and the universe too just for good measure.

"They're telling the truth. They haven't said anything about you." Zayn speaks up. "Nothing embarrassing."

"Now that worries me."

Harry jumps out of his seat, then, grabbing for Niall's arm. "Sit down. Relax! Talk. Enjoy the party. Or maybe just enjoy each other."

"Harry." Niall can feel the blush redden his cheeks. He covers his face with a hand and laughs, uncomfortable. Jesus Christ.

"Come on, Haz. Let's leave the nice boys alone, shall we?"

"There's a bathroom upstairs, if you need it, Zayn. Niall, maybe you could show him?"

Niall chokes.

"Hey! All right, all right. Come on, Cupid. Get a move on." Liam wraps his arm around Harry's chest from behind, kissing his cheek. "Sorry, Nialler."

Niall waves a dismissive hand.

Zayn looks amused, eyes legitimately sparkling."What was that all about?"

"Absolutely nothing. They're dead to me."

Zayn nods like he understands, which Niall is sure that he doesn't. "Do you want to dance or?"

Niall considers him, "I didn't take you for a dancer."

"I'm not. But I'd dance with you, if you wanted."

Niall wishes Zayn would just stop talking. "That's. Do you want another drink?"

"Actually, still working on the two you gave me--"

"I'll go and get us another." Niall says, anyway.

"Niall--"

"Be right back."

Niall escapes to the back deck and sits on the swing, shaking his head at himself and wishing he wasn't an idiot. He is smoother than this. He is a chill person.

When the door slides open, he closes his eyes and isn't surprised when the next moment someone is sitting down beside him. It's not hard to guess who it is.

"What's going on, Niall?" Zayn asks.

"Nothing."

"I could believe that if you'd look at me." He says, "What have I done?"

"It's not you, it's---"

Zayn starts to laugh. "Are you serious, bro?"

Niall realizes what he was about say and opens his eyes, turning his head to watch Zayn laugh. He smiles back at him, obviously losing self-control. "Jesus. Pretend you didn't hear that."

"Felt like you were breaking up with me." Zayn says, quietly.

"Course not." Niall says, serious. "We're partners."

"Good. I'd hate to be paired up with someone else. I like being with you."

"I. You too. I like. Same."

Zayn smiles, almost shyly. "Okay." He says, "Does this mean you'll stop running away from me?"

"I haven't been--"

"Niall, I literally watched you walk out here." Zayn tells him. "What can I do to make this better?"

 _You could kiss me, that'd be a start_ , Niall thinks.

"You don't have to do anything, you're perfect." Niall blurts.

Zayn blinks at him, then recovers, snorting, "All right, Horan. Maybe we should get you off the booze?”

Niall miserably agrees.

\---

Zayn asks him out during a drug bust.

"Do you like Italian?"

They'd managed to successfully apprehend their suspects within thirty seconds of busting through the door. Niall was already feeling good but now he's absolutely hysterical.

"I like food, yes." is Niall's strangled reply. He doesn't want to squeal right now. He'll wait until he's at home and his face is pressed into a pillow.

Zayn grunts as he pins one of the culprits arms behind his back. "Want to have dinner with me?" and as the guy below him attempts to kneed him in the stomach, he tsks and says, "I wouldn't do that."

Niall has his guy sat up on the floor with a strong, hopefully intimidating hand on his shoulder. "Yes." Niall's response is a tad bit too immediate. He'd considered hell yes but that would've just been embarrassing.

"Great!" Niall has to blink multiple times at the uncharacteristic smile that takes over Zayn's face.

Niall is placing his suspect into the back of a reinforced police car when Zayn appears beside him. "How about tonight?" He suggests.

Niall slams the door shut against the guy's protruding head, ignoring the groan that follows. "I think tonight would work."

He's rewarded with one of Zayn's more genuine smiles, which he mentally stores in his memory forever in the off chance that he may never see it again, just as it was.

"I'll pick you up, yeah?"

\---

Zayn dresses in a black button down with a black cardigan on top and Niall forgets how to breathe. He thinks its in out but ends up making awkward puffing noises as he breathes in constantly. Niall himself is wearing a burgundy henley that's the nicest piece of clothing he owns and he feels under dressed.

"I'm paying." Zayn announces.

"What?"

"I don't want to reach the end of the dinner and have both of us pulling out our wallets in an attempt to impress each other. I asked, I'm paying. You can buy drinks later."

"Drinks?" He should probably stop talking in one word questions.

"This isn't your scene, I get it. I just wanted to properly wine and dine you before getting blackout drunk with you."

"I can be fancy."

"Nah. I'm surprised you're even wearing a decent shirt. I'm a little disappointed."

"Tryin' to impress you." Niall mumbles, a bit like he's just been reprimanded.  

"Niall. You've already impressed me. You impress me everyday. You're my idol, you know." Zayn says, nonchalantly.

Niall wants to roll his eyes, but at the same time jab the steak knife by his left hand into his aorta. "Careful--talking like that might just get you lucky."

"I was counting on it."

Niall smiles at his menu. "In that case, let's move this along."

\---

They kiss outside the bar and Zayn sticks his hand down the front of Niall's pants and Niall chokes. "What--"

"Do you have a third date rule?"

Niall bites his bottom lip. "Fuck no."

"All right. My place is closer." Zayn tangles their hands together and moves to lead them just there, but Niall tugs him back until they're chest to chest.

"Fair point. But that alley looks nice."

Zayn leans back, "Seriously?"

Niall grins. "Come on. I really want to blow you in that alley."

"Yes sir."

\---

Niall bends his knees in a puddle and his pants get wet and Zayn gets an unidentified substance on his back but they end up making out in the back of a cab and separate long enough so Zayn can manage to climb out of the cab and to his apartment, straightening himself before leaning into the open window to kiss Niall goodnight.

Niall slumps in his seat with a grin on his face as the cab drives away.

\---

It's the next morning when Niall goes grocery shopping with Harry and says, "I sucked my partner off in an alleyway last night."

Harry stops sniffing a strangely shaped fruit and stares at him. "Say what now?"

Niall us yes his knuckle to nudge his sunglasses up onto his face, "I'm not repeating that."

Harry whistles. "Get in! Shit, Horan."

"Am I a bad person?"

"You're an unsanitary person..."

"I don't know how it happened, Haz. The whole night. I was a different person, it felt like. That wasn't me, was it? I don't know who that was." Niall leans against the cart and moves his elbow when Harry predictably sets a bunch of bananas in the front.

"This partner. Zayn. If I remember correctly," He drawls like he hadn't forcibly met Zayn not but three weeks ago, "he's the one with the great hair? Looks like a Gucci model?"

"I...guess?"

"And you're complaining right now? Are you serious? Is your head all right?"

"I think I fucked up."

"At least you fucked, am I right?" Harry jokes, terribly.

"Why am I talking to you."

"Because Liam's not here."

"Right." Niall says, "You're buying me a smoothie."

"Get whatever you want, it's Liam's money."

"Then I'm getting two smoothies."

"Make it three."

\---

They first see each other in the locker room. Niall walks in with his hat on backwards and sunglasses on his face and Zayn is shirtless with his uniform pants unzipped and hanging open and Niall absolutely does not stare.

"Good morning."

"Hi." Niall replies and it's awkward as he opens his own locker beside Zayn.

"Have you had coffee yet?"

"I didn't have time."

"Perfect. We can stop and have coffee and...talk."

"Talk." Niall repeats. " Okay."

\--

At first, talking is just five minutes of sipping their coffees and staring at each other awkwardly across the table. Niall’s scrolling through his phone, opening and closing the same three apps while Zayn flips idly through a newspaper he’d grabbed from one of the dispensers outside.

Niall is about to maybe excuse himself to the bathroom just to get out of this intensely uncomfortable situation when Zayn clears his throat and sips loudly at his coffee, before saying, "So...Friday."

Niall flushes immediately. "Yeah," he says, dumbly.  

"I think we should probably do that again." Zayn finishes, confident and firm. It doesn’t sound like a suggestion.

"Really?"

"Definitely."

Niall looks up and into Zayn's serious face and blinks. "Okay."

Zayn gives a satisfied nod, like he hadn't expected anything other than an affirmation. "Okay. But instead of spending thirty dollars on a meal, we can just eat take out on my couch because it’s cheaper and I’ve got bills to pay. And we could watch a movie or something."

"Yes. I would really like to do that." Niall hopes he doesn't sound too eager.

"Then after work, I'll just give you a ride home. To my home. Um...I know your car is still in the shop."

"It might not ever come back." Niall says, miserable.

"I'm always available to take you anywhere. Just so you know."

"Thank you but that's not necessary."

"Are you sure?"

"I can ride public transport. It's not like I haven't before."

"I just thought you'd be more comfortable riding with me." Zayn shrugs, unbothered.

"No offense, but I ride with you everyday. It'd be nice to have my own time, you know?"

"If that's what you want. Just know that I'm here."

Niall downs the rest of his coffee and sighs, feeling considerably more tense than relaxed. "I don't think I can forget."

\---

They don't watch a damn thing and Zayn jerks Niall off against the kitchen counter, mouthing at the skin of Niall’s neck, and grinding on Niall’s thigh unabashedly. Niall comes so hard he nearly blacks out.

\---

"You don't like Fifa?!? I'm never letting you touch my dick again."

They're investigating a domestic disturbance call where a neighbor thought she heard gunshots but when they arrived at the scene there was no answer. Zayn had taken that as permission to kick in the door with his gun aimed and ready to shoot, forcing Niall to follow his misguided lead.

"I don't not like it. I'm just not really into video games."

"What?!"

Niall. Shush." Niall rolls his eyes and Zayn calls out, "We know you're in here. Just--just come out and talk to us. We just want to know if you're okay!"

Niall would come running if it were the first time he'd heard the velvety smooth tone of Zayn's voice. "Please? If someone's hurt, we need to get them help, okay?"

Niall hears a quick shuffling sound to his left and signals so to Zayn. "Just come out. We won't shoot if you don't shoot."

Niall follows the initial sound until he stumbles across a cage. A guinea pig cage. "Fuck." Niall sighs, lowering his ready-to-fire gun.

Zayn chuckles, softly, before lowering his gun as well. "I wish you had. The story that could've made. PETA would've been on our asses."

"Shut up." Niall says, "False alarm, all right. I'm hungry."

"We can't just leave. We have to clear the entire house. You know that. Split up, yeah?"

"Fine." Niall says. "I'll take the kitchen."

"Do not eat anything in the kitchen."

"Sorry, but I will not be held accountable for what happens in the kitchen. Good luck."

Niall doesn't mean to actually kiss him before leaving, but he does, and he's halfway out of the door before he realizes what he's done and is too embarrassed to even turn back around and acknowledge it.  

\---

Zayn finds two bodies in the bedroom upstairs and Niall is in a sour mood when they drive back to the station. Zayn turns on the radio and lets the sound of Jazz sink them into a further funk.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"What? I didn't shoot the guinea pig. Liam never would have let me live it down---"

"You kissed me, Niall."

"I kiss you a lot."

"You kissed me. On the job. As we were splitting up for five minutes."

"This isn't a big deal."

"It kind of is?"

"That's because you're making it."

"Niall."

"What???"

"Are we making this official or what?"

"Oh God--"

"Just tell me, all right. I know it's been all about sex since we started but maybe it's time--"

"Yes! Okay, yes. I want to be your....whatever. Just stop talking about it? Please?"

Zayn just grins.

\--

"Is this really happening right now. Are we doing this?"

"Oh, we're definitely doing this."

"This is a low point, Zayn. Even for me."

"Stop being such a killjoy. Put your skates on."

"I can't believe Harry wanted to go roller skating for his birthday. I swear he's got the mentality of a five year old. This is ridiculous."

"I don't know. These rainbow colored skates are actually really doing it for me." Zayn says, teasing. "Look: even Liam’s enjoying himself."

"Liam goes running. For fun."

"Do you want me to hold your hand? Is that it?"

"Fuck you. I can skate. I can kick your ass at skating."

"Is that a challenge?"

"No, that's just a basic fact." Niall states.

"I'm taking it as a challenge. And you're on." Zayn says. "Harry! Niall wants to race!."

"I never said that."

"I accept!" Harry says. "Are we doing teams because I call Zayn."

“Was gonna ask you anyway,” Zayn says. "Liam, you're with Niall and I'm sorry but you're going down."

"In your dreams."

"I don't want to do this." Niall whines. He's got a bum knee after all. It hurts still. Sometimes.

"I think you're just afraid you're going to lose and that I won't like you anymore because you're a loser."

Niall has never been one unaffected by taunts. "Eat my perfectly timed turns, malik."

"Now we're talkin'!" Harry clap his hands, rubbing them together and looking increasingly manic.

Niall falls flat on his ass. And five minutes later, he falls on his elbow. The sound of Harry’s cackling haunts him as he collides with the floor.

Zayn follows him home and after giving Niall a consolation blowjob, he holds ice on his war wound. "Do you want me to kiss it better?"

"No," Niall says, rolling his eyes. "I'd like you to hand me the remote."

"You have two legs." Zayn informs him, "Last time I checked, they were working perfectly fine."

"I will blow you if you hand me the remote." He bargains.

"I'm not accepting sexual favors as bribes."

Niall snorts. "Since when?" and Zayn glares at him. "Fine. But I'm still going to blow you. Just give me a minute."

"I'm still not handing you the remote."

"Doesn't matter now. I'm ready for round two." Niall pats his thigh, "Come here. Come to papa."

"No. I think you have a serious problem."

"Yeah, and it's growing."

Zayn makes a retching noise and buries his face in his hands. "Why, Niall."

"That was really bad. I'm sorry." Niall gives up waiting and crawls over to press Zayn into the couch. "Kiss me."

"You want to take control, you do what you want."

"I want you to kiss me. And I don't want you to stop."

Zayn bites Niall's jaw and laps the spot with his tongue. "You're going to fuck up your elbow."

"The only thing I'm fucking is you."

"Just stop…” Zayn begs, but he’s grinning, so wide and so bright that Niall feels it shoot down his spine,  and if he’s honest, he’s never been happier. “Stop talking."

**Author's Note:**

> so ziall with side engaged!lirry and vice versa is a Thing for me


End file.
